Hi y’all, welcome to Memorial Day, or as creators call it: Monday. This is, of course, because creators don’t get to take off federal holidays.
But they still can appreciate the sales right? As the Old Gods of Late Stage Capitalism once droned in their maddening eldrich tongue to a group of rapt brand executives while accepting their Clio Award:
“Yay, but today will be the day that all citizens in the country will honor not those who have fallen in battle but the deep, deep discounts offered. Dollar, dollar bills, y’all.”
And the ad men (and women) in attendance nodded, for they found they could not speak in the presence of such beatific and horrible monsters. And thus instructed, those in attendance took the sacred words and spread them far and wide: to the corporate lobbyists, to brick-and-mortar merchants, and the purveyors of digital G&S, until the news reached Memorial’s Mayflower Queen Jeff Bezos.
So children, that’s why today we give thanks to the Old Ones by purchasing Bluetti portable power station, standing desks, and our inkless/wireless laser printer for slapping labels onto stuff (a necessity for anyone, like me, on that Poshmark/Depop/Mercari grind. Check me out on anyone of those platforms @Videodrew) for up to 40% off! On that note, here’s some news:
- We’ve compiled all the best Memorial Day sales for creators, which you still have time to purchase! Go, before the old gods become fierce with rage and punish us for our capriciousness!
- The White House is hiring a professional meme-maker for Dark Brandon. Putting aside the fact that “Cantankerous president running for reelection being forced to team up with a Gen Z influencer to save democracy” sounds like a great “Hacks” spin-off (ooh, “Flacks?”) this is less newsworthy than you might think. America has been using dank agitprop to sway public opinion since Twitter was a thing, and we’re far from the only country to do so.
- On the other hand, we’re the only one currently airing a popular show about fascist demigods worshipped as nationalist heroes that directly tied this practice and literal Nazism. Mmight make the applicant pool a little smaller for progressive candidates, though so far, that’s not been a problem for the right.
- Oh, speaking of manipulating social media as a stage for poorly disguised political theater, w have our first look at the upcoming X TV on Elon’s app. Props to whoever convinced him not to go with his first choice, which you just know was X Videos.
- To round it out, we’re checking in on the world of influencers, where SJC got kicked from Kick after broadcasting a vehicular altercation with another Kicker, Cellfmade, who also livestreamed the incident from the hood of SJC’s car.
Well, that about does it for today.
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