YOU.0: Some Assembly Required

CREATOR NEWSLETTER


Yay, it’s almost time for the season’s best non-denominational holiday: New Year’s Eve. And with it, prerequisite New Year’s Resolutions. In the future, our mutant great-grandchildren (powered by Grok) will convey via Neuralink to Gen X AE A-XV (the autonomous driverless tanks with human souls generation) about the funny trick humans liked to play on themselves because they were bored in the dark and cold, and there were still seasons to have affected disorders about. 

And it’s true: Resolutions are ultimatums without consequences. OKRs without a review process. It’s a promise you can make to yourself now about some future, better self – a You.0(™) if you will – and there’s zero cost besides the residual shame and depression that carries over like an FSA premium. Why is it that when we talk about fresh starts and clean slates, our first instinct is to saddle ourselves with all these hyper-regimented rules and goals made by OLD You?

We treat resolutions like the obligatory annual iPhone trade-in, which still ends up costing us $450 upfront and $30 a month on an installment plan till the next millennia or until the sun burns out. (Whichever comes first. Void where prohibited.) 

It’s not surprising that every year, we as creators – or just as people, really – are always looking to upgrade to the latest, shiniest version of ourselves. One with faster processing power, a longer battery life, and the ability to filter out sensitive content before it registers in our psyche. Powered by AI, the You.0(™) will absorb salient information without having to read a whole article or listen to a whole podcast. This year, we’ll have Productivity Mode, with customizable options for FOCUS and SLEEP.


THE COMMENTS SECTION


You’ll be so in tune with your body, constantly monitoring every vital, but like, in this totally non-intrusive way where you barely have to think about it. Come January 1st, we will wake up to find that we no longer have to check a watch to tell us that we should drink water or stand up for ten minutes. (Which is great because who knows how long we’ll have the new Apple Watches back in stock.)

Where am I going with all this? Don’t worry, I’ve got you. This year, as creators, I want us all to make one resolution: to no longer treat ourselves as disposable products. There’s only one You(™): a one-of-one, Grailed limited release that will never be reissued.  

Extremely Chuck Palahniuk voice: You are not your follower count, your likes, your streamable hours, your comment section. You are not a product, you are not a process. You were not made to optimize an algorithm or maximize monetization. You are not expendable; there’s no warranty coverage on you. When you crack, no one is going to come reassemble you or your money back. 

You are a human, flawed and imperfect and not always logical – hence why you’re making these resolutions in the first place – and there’s no overnight system update to be a better person. Take it one step at a time…and don’t worry about closing the ring. For now, at least, there’s still tomorrow.


NOTED BY LON HARRIS

The Best, Worst, and Most Oddly Compelling Content That Hit Our Screens This Year


A vlogging kit that’s truly pro-level

Created to meet the needs of storytellers, filmmakers, and content creators, the PRO Vlogger kit from Joby features the ultimate on-camera vlogging microphone, Wavo PRO, and the strongest GorillaPod to date, the 5k PRO. Known and loved by the biggest creators around the world, this is the kit you need to produce pro-level, viral-worthy content.


IN THE BIZ


CULTURE

All Our Brains Are Rotting

Are we generation brain-rot?

By Charlotte Colombo, Passionfruit Contributor

woman with goldfish and clocks in the background

TIPS & TRICKS

Demystifying Influencer Laws: A Legal Guide for Content Creators

Practical guidance from a legal expert to help you confidently maneuver the complexities of influencer laws.

By Veronica Ramirez, Passionfruit Contributor


YOUTUBE MADE ME DO IT

Content for Creators.

News, tips, and tricks delivered to your inbox twice a week.

Newsletter Signup

Latest Newsletters

  • Data-Scraping Philosophy Tube Puts Ethical AI Into the Pile

    Data-Scraping Philosophy Tube Puts Ethical AI Into the Pile

    CREATOR NEWSLETTER Issue #262 | August 8, 2024 Watching the “House of the Dragon” season (?) finale (?!) on Sunday, I caught a familiar face playing Esos fleet commander Lohar. Playing the female pirate king with multiple wives was YouTuber Abigail Thorn, who is having quite a season after appearing as a Jedi in the…

  • How to Defeat the Algorithm’s Gaping Maw

    How to Defeat the Algorithm’s Gaping Maw

    CREATOR NEWSLETTER Issue #261 | August 6, 2024 – Grace Stanley, Deputy Editor TIPS & TRICKS Paddy Galloway’s 12-Step Process for Building a New YouTube Channel in a Year Learn from the master for free. By John-Michael Bond, Passionfruit Contributor → READ THE FULL STORY SPONSORED Ready to expand your reach—and earnings? Turn your knowledge into…

  • The End of Weird Vibes Summer Postponed Indefinitely

    The End of Weird Vibes Summer Postponed Indefinitely

    CREATOR NEWSLETTER Issue #260 | August 1, 2024 THE COMMENTS SECTION “‘Presidential candidate Robert Kennedy meets Hawk Tuah girl at Nic Carter’s Karate Comba-‘ You bolt awake in the mountains of Carthage. You are not online. It is 217 BC. You are the general Hannibal, and you have changed your mind. The future cannot come…