Hey You Guys on Any Good Platforms Lately?

Issue #264 | August 15, 2024

“Once upon a time,” I will tell my grandchildren, “back in the early roaring twenties, you could wake up and actually be excited to check social media.”

“Okay grandma,” they will say, “let’s get you back to bed.” And with eyes watering, I will transmit a single thought to my Neurolink: “Please Grok, turn off the Memeory. I have no progeny. Please release me to the sweet embrace of death; this is torture.”

At this point, the world will go dark, and for a sweet second, I might believe for a sweet second that I have lost consciousness for the first time since my inferred data was uploaded into the singularity. But that illusion will be quickly shattered when out of the dark abyss, Princess Peach appears in front of an Israeli flag, a machine gun at her. Her eyes glow dank red, and when she opens her mouth to speak, it is Elon’s monotone resounding inside my skull like the voice of the Bene Gesserit from “Dune.” Or like one of the Nightsisters from “Ahsoka.” Any kind of space witch, really.

“I have no mouth, but I must Meme.”

THE COMMENTS SECTION

“Every day, AI is making advances specifically for men in their 40s who don’t remember their kids’ names”
– X user Jeffrey Gustafson (@jdgustaf) on AI

Yes, it will be Web5.hell, but I will still be correct: the social media platforms that will be humanity’s undoing used to be fun. The antediluvian era of Twitter, not that it needs another eulogy, was such a time to be alive and getting network deals for writing down the sh*t your dad said. Not to brag, but I used to live for live tweeting TV events, which yes, in retrospect, does kind of sound like a silly oxymoron and not something you should put on your resume. (I did though.)

Grok is going to Grok, I guess, but now isn’t exactly the greatest time to turn your social media company into a generative AI platform, especially if your proprietary training data is scraping the bottom of the Neo-Nazi, porn scam barrel, the world’s least sexy car freshener.

All I’m saying is…as much as we used to joke about social media ushering in this cringe-worthy millennial unearned Obama-era optimism and LOL Catz, it initially forced us to be more concise and deliberate in crafting short-form storytelling. Viral marketing was actually clever. And for a short while, just a blip of time in the scheme of things, really, we all felt like we shared a common language, even if it was jfk.

– Drew Grant, Editorial Director

CULTURE

My Experience Attending the White House Creator Economy Conference

Over 100 creators were in attendance.

By Franklin Graves, Passionfruit Contributor

image of the white house next to a cartoon phone to represent creator economy conference

→ READ THE FULL STORY

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LEARN MORE

IN THE BIZ

A strange TikTok trend has Christian users sharing images of crucified Minions to spread their religious message, with several creators following the exact same premise or “script.”
Twitch has launched a new video stories feature, allowing users to share clips up to 60 seconds long with various viewing time options and interactive features.
Next week’s Democratic National Convention will be streamed in vertical video on TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube to engage younger viewers.
TikTok is introducing new features like Stickers and Group Chat to enhance user engagement and connections through direct messaging.

PLATFORMS

The Federal Trade Commission Takes On Viewbotting and Fake Reviews in the US

Viewbotting is now banned by the FTC.

By Charlotte Colombo, Passionfruit Contributor

READ THE FULL STORY →

PERSONALITIES

Chocolate at Any Cost: A Feastables Review

Feastables is not the best chocolate, but its popularity isn’t tied to how it tastes.

By Steven Asarch, Passionfruit Contributor

READ THE FULL STORY →

WHAT WE’RE WATCHING

Passionfruit’s Steven Asarch joined Taylor Lorenz on the Power User podcast to discuss the controversies currently surrounding Mr. Beast.
“House of the Dragon” withdrawal? We’re filling the gap by watching Seth Meyers and Leslie Jones journey through “Game of Thrones.”
Amidst the “Longlegs” buzz and comparisons to “Silence of the Lambs,” it’s worth revisiting Siskel and Ebert’s take on the iconic thriller.
Tell It Animated gets us all ready for “Alien: Romulus” by showing us The Evolution of the Xenomorph.